Before We Said I Love You
by fallwithakiss
Summary: Blaine is in love with Kurt but Kurt has a boyfriend. Can the boys find it in their hearts to be together?   "If being with Chad makes Kurt happy, I'll just have to accept that. I'm still in love with him. That'll never change."
1. 1: I'm In Love With Kurt Hummel

**Blaine's POV:**

I've been in love with Kurt Hummel since the first moment I saw him standing on that staircase in Dalton Academy. The instant he started talking to me I knew we would be connected in some way.

I love everything about Kurt. I love his eyes, such a magnificent blue. They're the kind of eyes that I could get lost in; spending hours staring into the blue abyss. I love his smile, when Kurt smiles at me, I feel important. He has the kind of smile that can make me feel needed for once in my life. I love Kurt's voice; it is so delicate yet so strong. When he sings, it's like nothing else matters but just watching him perform. I love his skin, so soft and fragile. I could hold his soft, small hands forever. But the thing that I love most about Kurt was his ability to love.

I've never seen anyone with an ability to love someone so truly and completely quite like Kurt does. He doesn't let people get close to him very often, because of a bad past, but when he opens himself up to someone, it's a magnificent thing. He devotes himself completely to whomever he's with, loving them as much as he possibly can. I know this because I'm Kurt's best friend.

That's all I am, his friend. Even though I want to be with him more than anything. I love him, but he doesn't- can't know it, mostly because I know he doesn't feel the same way. I'm positive of that fact.

The reason Kurt doesn't love me back is because he has a boyfriend. Chad. I'm happy for Kurt, I really am. It's obvious that he and Chad are blissfully in love. That's great for them! I honestly want Kurt to be happy, and if being with Chad makes him happy, I'll just have to accept that.

I'm still in love with him. That'll never change.

**XxXxXxX**

**Kurt's POV:**

I love Chad. He's a fantastic boyfriend, my first actually. He's kind, sweet, loving, cute, funny, and he's the one guy who's loved me from the start. I'm extremely grateful for such a perfect boyfriend. He takes me on romantic dates and buys me flowers randomly, just to make me happy. He holds my hand in the hallway and reassures me everyday how much I mean to him. I couldn't be happier! Moving to Dalton has been the best decision I've ever made! Not to mention, I have the perfect best friend too. Blaine is always there for me, no matter what. Any problem I have, I know I can go to Blaine and he will always make me feel better. He always knows exactly what to say; it's a talent. I don't know what I would do without him. He and Chad mean everything to me! They saved me from everything that was wrong in my life.

I don't believe in running from your problems, but when a bully pushes you around and gives you death threats, it's hard not to. I'm not proud of running, but I am proud of protecting myself. I owe that to Blaine. Had I not met him on the staircase that one winter day, I would still be bullied by that awful Neanderthal, Karofsky. Who knows what he could have done to me. If you think about it, I owe my life to Blaine. He's literally saved me.

Chad has saved me too. It started with a sweet smile across the classroom, or a flirty wink during Warbler's practice, but then it turned into more. It turned into coffee dates and whispered conversations. It turned into holding hands and stolen kisses. Without Chad, I wouldn't know what it's like to be in love with someone who loves you back. In fact, I probably would have given up on love all together. But I didn't because I met Chad.

**XxXxXxX**

**Blaine's POV:  
><strong>As I'm walking through the halls of Dalton I see Kurt and Chad walking hand and hand. Their heads are turned so that they have the perfect angle to see each other's face. Kurt is beaming, he looks happier than I've ever seen them.

A strangled sound comes out of my throat and they boys in front of me turn around to see what the noise was. Kurt smiles when he sees me. "Oh, hey Blaine! How are you?"

Kurt shows no indication that he's bothered by my presence so I decide to talk to the happy couple. "I'm fine. Ready for rehearsal today, guys?"  
>I hope Kurt doesn't notice the way that I always speak coldly to him when he's with Chad. I don't mean to be mean but my judgment isn't the best when I see the boy that I love wrapped up in his boyfriend. When we're alone our conversations are always warm and substantial, but that never happens around Chad.<p>

Chad smiles at me. "Yeah, totally! I'm sure your solo will sound fantastic, as always, Blaine!"  
>God, why does he have to be so nice? No wonder Kurt's dating him.<p>

I see Chad whisper something into Kurt's ear and Kurt giggles. Knowing that if I don't leave now, I'll do something I'll regret, I say to them, "Well, I better get going! I should warm up my voice before practice! See you guys later!" I throw on a fake smile as I say this. Then without looking back at the happy couple, I turn and practically run into the choir room.

**AN: This is the first in what I expect to be a 20 chapter story. For once I actually have everything that I want to do in this fanfic all written out in an outline! The next chapters will vary in length, but will probably be longer than this chapter, for the most part. This chapter was mostly exposition. It gets more interesting, I promise! Also, I've never written a fic in first person before, so bear with me! Thank you so much for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated! Klisses! **

***Disclaimer* I own nothing Glee related. **


	2. 2: So Much For Alone Time

**Blaine's POV:  
><strong>I'm sitting at our usual table at the coffee shop when Kurt arrives ten minutes late.  
>"Blaine! Hi! Sorry I'm late! Chad and I were, uh, studying."<br>Studying, yeah right. Kurt's lips are red and swollen, obviously from kissing Chad.  
>"Oh, no problem! Sit down." I motion for him to sit in the chair across from me. He sits down and I push a coffee cup over to him. "Here, I ordered your favorite."<br>Kurt smiles and takes a sip of his coffee. "Oh, thanks, Blaine! I love how you know my coffee order. Besides you, only Chad knows my coffee order!" He giggles and rests his head on his hand.  
>My eyes drop to the table and I sigh. I wish I was the reason Kurt is gigging right now. I wish his lips were red and swollen because he was kissing me for hours. I wish he was daydreaming about me right now.<br>"Blaine? Are you okay?" Kurt's looking at me with concerned eyes. His eyes are big and blue, I find myself staring into them, getting lost once again.  
>"Hm? What? Oh yeah. I'm fine." I shake my head and feel my cheeks heat up. "I'm just a little distracted right now."<br>Kurt's still staring at me with that look. I just want to lean over this table and kiss him. But I can't because Kurt has a boyfriend that clearly isn't me.  
>"Distracted by what?" Kurt asks his face innocent.<br>I lift my eyes up to meet his. "Um, just difficult assignments, that's all." I mumble. My hands feel awkward and idle so I pick up my coffee cup and bring it to my lips. I take a small sip and peek up at Kurt. He's staring off into space, his coffee cup resting against his still red lips. He has a dazed smile plastered over his face and I hate to interrupt his daydream.

"What are you thinking 'bout? You look pretty lost in thought." I say, trying not to be rude, but wanting to have an actual conversation.

Kurt's face flushes bright red and I regret even asking.

"Oh. Um, I was just thinking about, uh, Chad." I feel my body tense as he says this even though I knew he was going to say this. I hate myself for getting mad at Kurt for talking about his boyfriend. I should be happy for him. But it's so hard, because I love him and I can't be with him.

"Oh that's nice! How are things going between you two?" I put on my best 'I'm-just-your-friend-so-I'm-going-to-pretend-that-I'm-actually-happy-for-you-when-it's-really-killing-me-inside face' and stare at Kurt. He looks puzzled for a split second before he grins and says, "Actually, I'm glad you asked! I've wanted to talk to you about things with Chad!"

I must look confused because he rushes into his next sentence. "Oh no, no! Things with us are great! I- I actually think I might love him. But since I've never had a boyfriend before, I don't really know if I _love_ him or if I just like him a lot. What do you think love is, Blaine?"

Did he really just say that? He wants to know what _I_ think love is? I'm just going to ignore the fact that he thinks he's in love with someone that isn't me. I should've known it, anyway. I ignore the painful sting in my eyes and ponder Kurt's question.

"To me, being in love with someone means that you're willing to sacrifice your own happiness because all you want is for that one person to be happy, no matter what. I think it's wanting to spend every second in his arms, because being close to him makes you feel complete. It's taking the time to let him know that he means everything to you." I choke out the last sentence and my voice cracks on the last word. I feel the tears threatening to spill over.

Kurt notices this and he puts his warm hand over mine. He looks up at me with such genuinely caring eyes and I love him even more.

"Hey, don't cry! Is something wrong, Blaine? You can tell me anything." He looks so cute and concerned and I definitely can _not_ tell him anything. I can't tell him that I love him.

"Well, you see, there's this _guy_..." I begin. "I really like- I love him. But the thing is, he doesn't like me back. I just- I - I get really emotional over it and I hate it." Ugh, great. I _so_ need to stop baring my soul in front of Kurt.

"How do you know he doesn't like you back, Blaine?" His hand is still on top of mine and I find it hard to breathe. "You'd make the perfect boyfriend to whomever is the lucky guy you like!" My breath catches in my throat. I feel a blush creeping to my cheeks and I grin up at him.

"I just know he doesn't. Let's leave it at that and not talk about this again, okay?" Kurt nods and I continue. "You- you really think I'd make the perfect boyfriend?" I hear the wonder in my voice and I wonder if Kurt can detect it too.

"Yeah! Of course! Why wouldn't I? You're my best friend!"

Oh. Right. Best friends. How could I forget?

**Kurt's POV: **

It's different getting to see Blaine's emotional side. He's usually so guarded. I love that I'm the only one who can make him open up.

Which reminds me, I still need to talk to Blaine about Chad.

"Blaine? Would it be okay for me to talk about Chad again?" He nods so I go on. "I'm just so happy, Blaine! I'm happy that someone finally cares! Back at McKinley I felt invisible and unwanted and unimportant. Chad, he makes me forget that hate exists. He's so perfect and sweet with me, I don't even know how I deserve such a perfect boyfriend!"

I look at Blaine and a small smile graces his face.  
>"Kurt, I'm so happy for you. You are the kindest person I know and you deserve every ounce of happiness. Go out there and love him, if he makes you happy, never let him go." Blaine smiles lovingly at me and I stand up from my chair to go around the table and hug him. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. I can hear him sigh softly.<p>

"Thank you, Blaine. I don't know what I would do without you." I release him from the hug and speak softly. "This meeting was great, Blaine, but Chad and I have a date soon so I have to take off. Take care, Blaine!" I blow him a friendly kiss and walk out of the coffee shop to meet my boyfriend.

**XxXxX**

**Blaine's POV: **

I'm standing dumbfounded in the coffee shop when Jake walks up to the table and pushes me into my seat. He sits in the chair that was formerly occupied by Kurt. All I can think is _Kurt Hummel hugged me and blew me a kiss. He thinks I'd be the perfect boyfriend. _

"Dude, you love him", Jake says casually.

I almost spit out the coffee that I'm drinking.

"I _what?" _

_"You love him." _Jake emphasizes each word and I stare incredulously at him.

"You don't know anything", I spit out, avoiding eye-contact.

"Blaine, I'm one of your best friends. I think I know your in love face. And that was definitely the look you were just giving Kurt."

The way that Jake says this so simply annoys me, but I give in to his argument anyway.

"Fine, Jake. You got me. I love Kurt. Happy now?"

Jake grins, "Actually, I am! You know how I always like to be right!"

I roll my eyes. "Whatever, Jake."

"But, seriously man, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here, okay?"

I nod and smile at him. "Thanks, Jake. You're a great friend"

I'm grateful for Jake. He helps me forget that right now Kurt Hummel isn't kissing me, he's kissing his boyfriend.

**AN: I apologize for the lack of action that's happening right now. I'm really trying to set this story up for success. I promise, there will be more exciting chapters soon! Reviews make me happy! Klisses to you all! (:**


	3. I Think I May Be Falling For You

**AN:****I am so so so so so sorry for not updating this! I feel absolutely awful to make you guys wait so long! Before this week I hadn't had a laptop, but I just got one, so it's **_**so**_** much easier for me to update. I had to stay up really late just to write chapters but now I can do it in broad daylight from my laptop! I hope to be quicker at updating, and I won't make you wait months again like I just did! I hope this chapter makes up for my absence! So sorry it took forever to get out! **

__**Kurt's POV:**

Chad and I are sitting next to each other in the cafeteria when I see Blaine approach our table. I smile at him and wave him over. We always have lunch together so I don't know why I waved him over. I guess I just really want to be near him right now. Blaine smiles as he sits down. "Hey Kurt! Chad." He smiles brightly at me. I giggle because Blaine is such a little puppy. He's so cute and perky. He really does remind me of a puppy!

Chad gives me a confused look so I just shake my head. He doesn't need to know that I just compared my best friend to a puppy. Chad isn't the jealous type, but I don't want to give him a reason to worry. Blaine and I are just friends.

Blaine and Chad are conversing about football while I sit patiently and watch them. I notice that Blaine looks over at me every couple of minutes. I can tell he's trying to be discreet, and if I wasn't paying attention to him, I probably wouldn't have noticed. I feel Chad's hand grip mine protectively and I smile lovingly up at my boyfriend. He leans down to give me a quick kiss on the lips. I sigh and lean into Chad's warm shoulder, loving the way he's so gentle with me.

**Blaine's POV: **

I'm sitting here in the cafeteria watching the love of my life cuddle with his boyfriend. I sigh wistfully and rest my head in my hands. Kurt's face is flushed and his eyes are closed. He's leaning in to Chad's embrace, looking blissful.

All I can think about is how that isn't me. How I'm not the one holding Kurt.

Kurt opens his eyes and notices me staring. I can feel my face flush as excuses run through my head. _I was staring at the wall, not you. I was lost in thought and you happened to be in my line of vision. _

There's really no point in making excuses. Kurt is smart, that's why he adjusted so well to Dalton. He'll see through my disguise without a doubt.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kurt pull away from Chad and look intently at me. I fumble with excuses and settle on, "Damn! I forgot I had homework for English next period! I gotta go! Kurt, meet me in the library at 6 to study?"

Kurt nods and I smile at him as I dash out of the cafeteria.

**Kurt's POV: **

As I stare at Blaine's retreating figure I feel Chad's hand grip possessively on my knee. I turn around and look at Chad, my face pink and flushed.

"What was up with that?" Chad asks incredulously. He strokes a hand across my cheek, obviously noticing how hard I'm blushing.

"Um… I don't know. He probably just had to finish a paper. Blaine's, uh, forgetful." I can hear the uncertainty in my own voice and I wonder if Chad can detect it.

He stares at me with loving eyes, "Kurt, honey. Please tell me you noticed him staring at you every two seconds. You know I trust you completely, and I know you would never do anything to hurt us, but I just want him to know you're mine. And only mine."

I place my hand gently on his shoulder and speak calmly. "Chad, what are you talking about? Blaine is my friend! That's it! He definitely knows we're together, I talk about you nonstop! Don't worry about Blaine, okay? _You're _my boyfriend."

Chad beams and playfully kisses me on the mouth. "Okay, okay. I'll calm down, _boyfriend_." He's absolutely beaming, which makes me happy. Chad stands up and takes me by the hand. We walk down the hallway hand in hand and when we reach my Chemistry classroom Chad kisses me on the cheek and walks to his class.

My Chemistry teacher drones on and I find myself doodling little hearts on my notes. _Mr. Kurt Hummel-Daniels. Mr. Kurt Daniels-Hummel. Mr. & Mr. Chad Daniels. _

**Blaine's POV: **

The library is empty save for the librarian when Kurt walks in and sits across from me at our usual table in the back of the library.

"Hi Blaine!" Kurt is looking extra happy today as he greets me. "Ready to study?"

"Absolutely!" I say, holding up my books. I flip open to the chapter we're working on in math and jot down a few problems to work on. Kurt and I work in an easy silence until I reach a particularly hard problem. "Hey, Kurt? Do you think you could help me with this problem?"

Kurt gets up out of his seat and crouches down next to me so he can see the problem over my shoulder. I feel his warm breath on my neck and my breath hitches in my throat. "I'm, uh, having trouble, with… with this problem." I point to my paper and Kurt takes a minute to scan over the problem. He begins to explain the problem but I can't focus on what he's saying because Kurt is _soclose. _The smell of him is intoxicating and I struggle to breathe.

"So, do you understand it now?" Kurt asks and I nod enthusiastically as Kurt moves back to his seat.

I look back down at my paper and realize I still don't know how to do the problem. _Oh well. _

**Kurt's POV: **

Blaine is still looking hopelessly down at his paper. I know he must not have understood what I said, but he was probably just too stubborn to ask for help twice on the same problem. I set my pencil down and gaze at Blaine for a moment. His curly hair is falling into his eyes because he forgot to gel it down this morning. His eyebrows are scrunched up in concentration and his hazel eyes are focused on his paper. His cheeks are pink and flushed.

I hear a small clatter on the wood floor and look down, noticing that my pencil had rolled off of the table. I reach for it at the same moment as Blaine and our hands meet on top of the pencil. Blaine pulls his hand away as if he'd been burnt and I slowly pick the pencil up and place it back on the table.

Blaine's face is a little more flushed, but other than that he seems to have regained his calm composure. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky. My heart was racing and I knew my face was beet red. I finished the rest of my homework problems and turned to Blaine. "I've got to go. Chad is waiting for me. It was nice studying with you, Blaine. See you later!"

I tried to pull off a perky façade but I'm pretty sure Blaine could see right through me.

**Blaine's POV: **

I got back to my dorm room thinking about how disastrous that study session had been. I don't think I can get any more obvious that I'm in love with Kurt. He's got to know by now. I make it perfectly clear how I feel about him, even if I don't mean to. I sigh and flip on the radio just as familiar chords fill my ears. I belly flop onto my bed as the song progresses then sit upright and begin to sing along with the music.

_Hold you in my arms  
>I just wanted to hold you in my arms<em>

_My life  
>You electrify my life<br>Let's conspire to ignite  
>All the souls that would die just to feel alive<em>

_I'll never let you go  
>If you promise not to fade away<br>Never fade away_

I meander around Kurt and my dorm room while singing my heart out. Soon the song fades to a close and I turn around to switch the radio off. All of this pinning after Kurt is exhausting.

**Kurt's POV: **

I didn't go back to my dorm room after the study session because I knew Blaine would be there. Instead I opted for walking around Dalton's marvelous garden. As I paced through the rows and rows of roses all I could think about was Blaine. The way he looked when he was happy. How his smile always brightened when he saw me. How enthusiastic he was. My every thought was occupied by Blaine. I sit down on a marble bench in the middle of the garden, surrounded by gorgeous plants and flowers. I look around and see the array of colors and remember that this very bench is where Chad and I had our first kiss.

_Chad. My boyfriend._ I push all thoughts of Blaine aside and think only of my _boyfriend_ and how much I love him. It seems to take hours before my mind is straightened out, all I know is that it is pitch black outside, except for a few street lights. I run to the dorms and don't stop until my hand is in contact with Chad's dorm room door.

The moment he opens the door I run into his arms and throw myself against his lips. Our lips crash together in an urgent rush and Chad pulls away.

"Kurt, what are you doing here? It's past midnight! What was that even about?"  
>I press my lips against his once again. "I just missed you, that's all!" I kiss him one last time then turn to walk back to my dorm room.<p>

As soon as I walk into the room I fall onto my bed and drift into a restless sleep filled with dreams of Chad. And Blaine.

**AN: The song used in this chapter is "Starlight" but The Muse. Also, thanks to greygleemahomie for giving me Chad's last name! :D Thank you guys for bearing with me through the long wait! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Reviews make me want to write more chapters quicker! Please review! I'll love you forever and your feedback is greatly appreciated! (: Thank you! **

**Xoxo -Autumn (:**


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